How to Fix a Sexless Marriage, According to Sex Therapists

It is only natural that couples in long-term relationships experience bouts of sexual dry spells from time to time. As long as the quantity drops but the quality doesn’t, your marriage is on the right track.

But what can you do if you find yourself in a sexless marriage? Therapists warn that sex is rarely the issue; it is rather a symptom of more deeply rooted problems. We offer their expert advice on how to tackle marital sex issues and bring back the spark.

Hone In on the Problem

According to Susan Gates, owner of Christian Bed, a popular Christian adult toy website, “Usually, the problem is not that sex is bad. Sex life suffers when intimacy is lost, communication grows cold, and unresolved issues pile up.” Try to identify the cause so you know what to fix. The reason couples’ therapy works is because spouses talk their issues over, which leads to their resolution. If the sex itself is the problem, experts suggest being open to trying out something new to spice things up between the sheets.

Take a Walk Down Memory Lane

In time, sex drive dwindles for many couples in committed relationships. Try to remember when things changed, and what may have influenced it. Talk to each other about what you are unhappy with, and what you would like to change about your sex life. Then, make an effort to spend time together, flirt, tease, and bring the art of seduction back into your relationship.

Embrace the Change

A frequent issue with new parents is that they stop having sex completely when the baby arrives. They assume that, in time, they will resume their usual nocturnal activities, and when that doesn’t happen, they don’t talk about it. When partners communicate openly, these matters can be resolved. And in the end, sex after having children actually turns out to be even more enjoyable and unencumbered than it was before.

Find the Root of the Problem

People wrongly assume that sexless marriages happen when men’s needs are neglected because women are holding out. Experience shows that the opposite is true. It could be because testosterone levels significantly dropped among the male population over the last decades. Whatever the reason, identifying the cause of the problem is the first step toward resolving it.

Work on Your Emotional Bond

Rid yourselves of resentment, and learn to forgive and forget. Instead of holding on to old grudges, build an emotional connection, spend time together, and talk about your innermost desires and fears. Also, set up a sex agenda.

Now, this may sound like it would take the fun out of sex. But according to experts, keeping sex life regular will reap more rewards down the road, and strengthen your marriage.

Don’t Be Passive-Aggressive

If you avoid talking with your partner, resentment will build up, and the marriage will become even more strenuous. That’s when partners start acting passive-aggressively, and sex goes out the window. Couples’ therapists warn that sexless marriage is what leads to infidelity in most cases. To prevent that from happening, communicate openly and respectfully, and work together on getting your marriage back on track.

Yours Is Not a Big-Screen Romance

Remember that if you base your expectations on what you see in the movies or on the sex your friends (falsely) claim to have, you are setting yourself up for disappointment. Have realistic expectations, nurture the emotional connection with your spouse, communicate honestly, and enjoy the time you spend together. Sex will soon follow suit.

Adult ADHD – Take Care of Your Own Needs and You Will Be Happy

It’s no secret that most people in general, and even some doctors have never heard of sexual problems or Adult ADHD. This is why so many adults suffer with the serious physical and emotional issues of anxiety, depression, and other debilitating and detrimental psychological disorders. They also suffer from less serious problems like erectile dysfunction, obesity, and lack of concentration, but it does not help if they are not taught how to take care of themselves.

Though some doctors and psychologists may think that Adult ADHD may have something to do with aging, and after a certain age, they say people tend to slow down sexually. This is true but the changes that occur in people as they get older just do not give them the excuse they need to give up sex.

Age and stress are factors in aging, but the most damaging thing that can do to an adult’s body is stressed. Stress can cause the blood pressure to rise, which can lead to stroke or heart attack. But stress is not the only way stress effects an adult’s sexual well being.

The effects of stress can be seen not only on the mind but also in the adult’s body. The elderly may notice they are having problems regulating their blood sugar levels, or when one tries to focus on a task, they often find that their hands tremble.

A lack of sleep can also affect the thyroid gland, which can result in adult hypothyroidism. The thyroid gland produces a hormone that regulates the level of sugar in the blood and has a role in regulating sexual function.

There are so many reasons why a person might have a lack of sleep for a large part of their entire life. People who live by themselves or with a partner also tend to have a shorter period of sleep, which means they do not use the muscles needed for masturbation.

Those people who take antidepressants may find that it affects their erections or their ability to perform sexual intercourse because of its effect on the mood stabilizing brain chemicals called serotonin. These antidepressants block the production of the brain chemical serotonin, which causes a reduced ability to produce sex hormones that aid in stimulating the genitalia.

As an adult’s body is being overtaxed in so many ways, it has to become more efficient in order to achieve an erection or in performing the same sexual activity. One way it does this is by having sex without giving much thought to the pleasure one gets from the experience.

All of these reasons make it harder for an adult to enjoy sex. And this is why so many adults need help from someone with experience in treating these problems in adult life.

Sexual dysfunction may not be present in every case of adult ADHD, but symptoms may still exist. If the doctor thinks an adult may be having problems with sexual performance, the doctor may ask questions to help uncover the root cause of the problem.

Knowing the reasons why you are having problems can go a long way toward helping you begin to have a better sexual experience. And with more time spent finding solutions, you can have a better overall quality of life.

This article was written with an adult in mind, but there are many reasons why it can be true for anyone. With proper treatment, Adult ADHD can be treated so that they have better quality of life and a higher level of happiness.